Aku rindu.

Suara yang tersekat, sebak, sudahnya tertelan tak terluah.

"Aku ada lppkp lah. Buat apa nak bagitau kau?"

Hujan renyai-renyai dekat luar aku tengok hiba dari dalam bas. Tak perasan, mata dah bergenang pun. Bila tersedar, cepat-cepat aku bukak buku dalam tangan. Melarikan mata laju-laju baris demi baris.

Kalau macam ni lah gayanya, memang aku akan resort pilihan terakhir.

I wanna be a mom.

I'm ready to be a mom.

I wanna have a baby. A child of my own.

Why, can't I, just have my baby now?

Why, at the age of 22, can't I, have my baby, just yet?

I'm feeling too old already.

This world is too old, already.

Why, can't I, have my baby just yet?

Why.

-

Apa lagi yang hendak dikejarkan sangat dengan dunia ni..

Ada apa dengan karier, ada apa dengan angan-angan segala keindahan bermewah..

Yes, kerjaya, ijazah, masters, diploma, we need them, as 'to sustain life'.

What life actually? Ha?

I'm not looking forward to be a superwoman, wanita berhati waja, Iron Lady as some may call, no.

Some may see I might become like one but..

Trust me, deep inside, deep, deep, inside,

I just wanna be a mother.

That's the only 'career' I want. Ever.

A mother.

I've lost my touch. On writing.

What's worse than that?